To Muse or Not to Muse

I’ve looked everywhere, under the bed, in the fridge, outside the box and even around my office cubicle for my ever elusive “MUSE”. How I have missed her over the past few months..maybe years. I’ve gone so far as to search the eyes of strangers for a glimpse of her, hoping that she had found her shadow and would soon return home.

She is a make-believe friend, that never drifted away when childhood ended. Think Barbara Streisand from “A Star is Born”. The smokey eyes, the sexy nasally voice…and the nose. THE NOSE. She is a character, my muse.

The kind of gal you want to keep around, just because she makes you laugh. Her laughter is contagious, sometimes rushing out of her in loud hiccuping guffaws and ending in an impolite snort. She is a mover and shaker. She brings the images and stories from my mind to the paper or screen. She stands behind me prodding me on, one sentence at a time. Maybe she is out “musing” someone else? Is double “musing” a possibility? Is it even LEGAL? Now let’s think about this for a minute…

The funny thing about muses and musings are their lack of concreteness. They are forever whisping about, infusing people with impromptu moods of creativity.

A temporary muse has stepped in to cover while my real one is out whisping. It’s not really working out, this relationship with the “other” muse. He is like Yoda, continuously trying to keep me on the forces of good. Yapping at my feet to keep me on the straight and narrow, reminding me of responsibilities and that with age comes wisdom. Screw him. The Dark Side has some benefits you know? Not everyone can play fair and square all the time, sometimes you have to color outside the lines.

Now that I sound like I’m having a complete psychotic breakdown, should I mention that this is my third day on Chantix? That’s the “help you quit smoking drug”. Some of the side effects are anxiety, nausea, vomiting, vivid dreams, depression, co dependency (minimal) and magical powers of a psychic nature. Okay, I made that last part up..but it sounds good right? In the end, it will hopefully facilitate my cessation of the use of nicotine products. Then NEW CAR time! Though in reality, I enjoy smoking. The relaxing, chatting with friends, drinking a beer, stress relieving side of smoking.

YES Yes Yes, you non smokers have all kinds of negatives to point out….smokers KNOW it smells bad and is killing our lungs. We are not stupid, we are addicts. Just so you know.

That brings on another brain surge, addictions, but I’ll save that for another post.

Have a Happy Day!